HR Professionals absolutely SUCK

Everyone who has worked now knows that the corporate world is bullshit.  It’s not because working is bullshit, but rather people who work are bullshit.

Anyway today it’s time to talk about something severely lacking with HR professionals, it’s called professional courteousy.  As useless as the HR position is, it does serve a purpose of communication between prospective candidates and current employees.  But, after a few months of working with HR and working with companies, it comes to my attention that HR professionals are anything but professional.  The position is essentially useless.  Usually it’s some bitch who goes around talking stupid shit about how great the company is.  Fat people and women tend to be HR professionals for some reason.

Anyway, let’s take some examples.

Compusearch, I dealt with a girl named Praneeta Poudel.  ppoudel@compusearch.com.  Anyway so I went three times to their facility.  It’s located in Dulles, which isn’t that close of a drive.  Each time, I was told the feedback was positive and I send my thank you notes and whatever.  So i wait to see if they are going to extend an offer, after a few days of I follow up with her regarding the interviews and I get this email back from her:

I planned to follow up with you tomorrow for a status update.  We really need a mid level consultant (you!) and are looking for the right opportunity so we can extend an offer.  Let me know if you get an offer from anyone else this week!

Thank you,

Praneeta Poudel

Now, I dunno how I should read this but it looked like they were interested.  After another week goes by, nothing I write one more note and don’t get a response.  Then weeks go by and I assume they aren’t interested anymore, however what really pisses me off is the fact they didn’t have the fucking decency to just say it.  Instead rather just ignore the candidate.  They could at least reimburse the mileage and gas.  FUCK this company

Ok,let’s move on to another one.  Deloitte Federal Practice unfortunately is nothing more than Bearing Point.  The same fucks who put the company into bankruptcy still work there unfortunately.  Well, this is what happened.  I had 4 interviews that day.  The first two bitches weren’t even qualified to interview me.  Instead just talked about how they liked the job and what my hobbies are.  WTF?  The manager interview was good he really got into it, but then I met some chink fuck by the name of Winson Heng who was a “principal” and the moment I shook his hand I knew I wasn’t getting the job.  Didn’t really even question me, just asked some bullshit questions and I was done.  Then a day later i was told “not enough experience” which was bullshit, the HR recruiter really didn’t know what to say she was kind of confused and said they would work on the deloitte side for another interview instead of the bearing point side. Bearing Point…sucky people, should’ve gone bankrupt and shut down.  Now they are open stealing more government money.

Apptis, a company located in Bethesda.  I was contacted by Diane Vogel. diane.vogel@apptis.com.  She was nice enough, got things sorted out and even went through the phone screen and the face to face with the entire team.  Everything seemed fine, got positive feedback and said they would make a decision within a week.  Well, waited for a week and didn’t hear from them, so I wrote an email to Diane and left her a voice message.  No response, after a few weeks again I realized this isn’t going anywhere but fucking hell isn’t that her job?  Incompetent fucks always stay employed.  Dunno who’s ass her lips are touching, but fucking annoying

Anyway, it’s been a tiring few months interviewing and wasting time and money for these bullshit companies that dont’ have the fucking decency to show professional courteousy.  I don’t care who i named and which companies they are.  Professionalism can just go fuck a horse for all I care, I’m pretty much done with this crap anyway.  So to all the HR professionals out there, a big fuck you from real working people.  Go take your job and shove it up your fat, useless ass.  It’s all it’s really good for anyway.

Indian fobs ruined the IT market

SIndians ruined the IT job market

So I know, it sounds so bad to say but it’s the god honest truth.  What is the IT field filled with?  Indians, why are they filled with it cause they are cheap to get and subserviant to employers.

So case in point, first thing I learned that indians do is inflate or lie on their resume.  So a person who is honestly putting together a resume will definitely lose out on interviews with people who lie on the resume.  I knew an indian girl who claimed to have 4 years experience, as it turns out after working with her for a few months she was actually a fresh graduate with no knowledge of the system and just lied on her resume.  It’s not her fault, other indians told her to do it (specifically the company that she was working for asked her to lie on her resume as she was a contract type consultant).  Where does that leave people who actually had the experience necessary.  SOL basically.   She was also favored on the project because the team lead and she are from the same city in india, same background, same religion, and they even spend time outside of work.  This girlw as nasty though, she is the smile to your face, and stab you in the back type of girl.  No ethics at all.

Second, they look out for each other.  If you aren’t part of their cliq, you won’t be getting a job or keeping it.  They rely on each other to do work.  It’s a cohesive unit.  They help each other, they work on each others work, they give wrong information, talk in hindi to each other, so in the corporate world you really have little clue what is going on.  I recall on a previous project, instead of fixing the problems with the logic formulas for the report, they just put static numbers in from the system of record they were suppose to replicate.  Then they come to UAT testing and say “oh it’s cause we didn’t get hte data from the out-going contractors” but when I went looking around I found the fake data and fake tables and the report logic that wasn’t logic.  That was just plain lie.

Ok, this is just a few reasons but I’m feeling tired so won’t continue for now.  But from my perspective indians have ruined the IT market altogether.  It would’ve been better if they stayed in an industry they couldn’t destroy   Unfortunately they are here for the long haul and this will continue.  Yeah there are good ones, but so many bad ones that the IT market is more of a lie now to get anywhere

I’m just saying…..

Real career advice

Alright, so this is another working world advice blog session.  My aim is to give real advice to people who are searching for jobs, as well as career advice for advancement when you get a job and how to stay ahead of the game.

(warning, truth and foul language ahead)

Let’s put a few things in perspective, this integrity, honesty, and hard work is a thing of the past.  I’ve experienced it personally, being fucked by incompetent monkeys due to back biting, lying, and plain jealousy.  With that said, let’s get on with it.

First, inflate your resume.  Who cares, they won’t find out what skills you have and what skills you don’t have.  I’m really serious about this. I found out that average person inflates their resume so much that employers now have ridiculous expectations for job requirements for new employees.  Let’s face it, we know it’s all bullshit anyway, prior to any interview just review the main topics.  You can easily google interview questions both technical and behavioral and make up your answers prior to the interview.  In order to compete in today’s market, dishonest is an invaluable skill.

At work, make sure you promote yourself, while discrediting your colleagues.  This has to be done tactfully and with discretion, but it’s easy to put in small statements in a conversation that seem perfectly innocent but deframe another colleague.  This is absolutely vital skill to have.  Make sure you always talk about yourself in a positive light and how hard you work, even if your job is equivalent to picking up camel shit still impress the monkeys above you.  Your colleagues aren’t your friends, make sure you stick it to them.  If you don’t, eventually they’ll fuck your ass sideways.  It’s a crucial step in advancement and surviving the corporate bullshit

If you have tits, you have an advantage so don’t be afraid to use them.  Wearing certain tighter clothing, asking favors from colleagues who you know fancy you is perfectly acceptable behavior these days.  Yes, you are a ho and everybody knows but your tits are gorgeous so make sure you use them.  You probably are a dumbass, but be smart about being a dumbass and use that to your advantage.  Nobody respects you anyway so you might as well not respect yourself and carry on.

Make sure, you get back at people who wronged you in the working world.  If someone lies about you, you make sure they suffer in the end.  In all honestly they should be severely punished through some chinese torture methods, but in the civilized world public humiliation should suffice.  Make sure they have bad recommendations, they should NEVER get a job

NEVER, EVER work for a small company.  Stick to the large ones, small companies have no structure and lack experience.  Usually comprised of some type of minority status in or der to win work as they can’t really compete with the big dogs.  It’s like masturbation, it serves it’s purpose but just not as satisfying as the real thing.  Work towards the end goal of a larger company.  This will help you in the end.  Small companies can easily ruin your  reputation.  Make sure small companies fail, don’t join them.  That will benefit all.

This may sound harsh, and you probably think “oh this isn’t me” but the fact of the matter is this is you.  You are the same douche of a problem that I’m speaking of, so drop your integrity and self respect and fuck everyone else.  This corporate world sucks, just look out for you.  There is no I in team, but there is an I in survival.

Fuck it all

The interviewing process

Looking for a job is pretty degrading experience, particularly in this economy. Hundreds of individuals competing for one position available within a company can be quite disheartening. It almost makes one not want to try. The day of the interview is like a complete anal raping. Putting on the monkey suit feels like being bent over, lubed up, and preparing for penetration. Really, is this the best we can come up with to sustain a lifestyle….there has got to be more.

Usually interviews go through a few steps. First there’s the phone screen which basically consists of making note if you speak english properly, are coherant, and can make logical claims based off your resume (this is to kind of fish out people who inflate their resume and who didn’t write it themselves) The next step is face to face interviews, usually consists of multiple people who pick at your without giving much explaination expecting some magical answer that you pull out of your ass.  Honestly, next time I’ll show a magic trick but stick my fist down their throat and pulling a fucking rabbit out of their ass

Ok, if you make it past this aspect, you get a contingent offer which means you need to pass the background check and reference check and any other check that some third party waste of time company deems possible. Finally you are in, but what did you accomplish? You don the slave badge and become a corporate, mindless zombie looking to just get paid and play the game. Yeah, sad reality of it all, it’s not what you know, it’s what you convince your interviewers you know. YOu can be an expert at anything, but the interviewers are subjective and limited in knowledge so if you don’t hit their prescreened answers, you don’t get the job. Thinking outside the box is a big no no here, you can’t be original or creative, you must adhere to the certain elements of each interview. Allow them to talk all they like, The more they talk the less you have to talk. Always stay attentive, even if they are the most boring piece of monkey crap walking gods green earth. Eye contact is key here. Ask generic questions that show you are interested in the company…anything from corporate culture to day in the life to responsbilities to whatever, make sure it’s relevant to the job at hand. You don’t have to be interested, just ask the questions and pretend to jot down some notes. Yeah, working world is quite a fake environment. We choose to make it more difficult because our ego’s get in the way. You worked htis long and want to make others suffer as you did, I understand, but god damn it’s so tiring to go abouts doing this. I sincerely hope the next job is myl ast and I can become independant of the working world in the future and do my own thing. That will be life, not slaving away and aging prematurly into a middle aged prick with no knob wondering when pay day is. Enjoying what you do is key, i have yet to find that

Real World? pfff…fucking losers…(yeah it’s a rant, but a true one)

So you know people keep saying when you are studying they are preparing you for the real world. Actually, all that bullshit is just that…a bunch of bullshit. Let me give you an earful on what the real corporate world is. First, you are going to have a manager that is completely incompetent. Not only that, she’s gonna lie and backstab you and it’s taken for granted. Then you are going to have to defend yourself because nobody else will stick up for you. You’ll be given random requirements expected to fulfill them but when you ask for help or direction because you are new or stuck you they consider you incompetent. They will use your templates, your documents, your analysis and take credit. Then in your review they’ll write you didn’t do anything and couldn’t deliver ontime, though they have your stuff on hand. They ask for stuff multiple times even when you provided it without them telling you, but then say “I had to follow up to get deliverables”. Then they will just lie because they fucked up and you are stuck having to defend yourself. honestly, you deal with old, mean, horrible people in the working world >_< Take it from me, nothing will prepare you for the working world as much as kindergarten where it’s a childish battlefield. I hope these stupid fat fucks get what they deserve Stupid liars, go to hell…

My short commute to the metro

Wow, since the return of my camera I haven’t updated at all. Haha, shame on me eh? Oh well, new photography is up for those interested in it. winstonsiraj.smugmug.com I’ll be attending another workshop at the end of this month (aug 22-23) so that should be good fun.

Public Announcement: In need of a make-up artist, hit me up if you got the skills. Specifically looking for one who can do really nice make up pakistani/indian style.  Call me!

So very important business to discuss today, todays internet blog has been sponsered by “stupidity” which has been making people laugh since the dawn of time First, I have to tell you about my commute to work. I live 2.5 miles from the metro, just 2.5 miles drive down gallows road mclean and this one particular morning was doomed from the start. So im stopped at a red light and I see this asian driver who happens to be female. Anyway she’s in the inner left turn lane….this is rush hour so all lanes are packed. I could tell she wanted to go straight and thought to myself “this is a bad idea” but she didn’t listen to common sense and when the light turned green she swung to the right. Unfortunately for her the car in the outer left turn lane thought that wasn’t such a good idea and swung to the left which is the way the asian female driver should’ve turned. This resulted into a car accident. Ok, moving on on the same morning we were again stopped at a red light. No surprise today but from out of no where comes a driver out of a drive way. The way she was driving it became apparent that she didn’t look at the long queue of cars just standing waiting for the red light to turn green. No noticing the long queue of cars in rush hour she backed up right into another car. Upon further inspection it was noted she happened to be asian, and female…and driving a car. Then, in the parking garage I sat there and watched for at least 10 minutes an asian female driver trying to park. Now normally this could be acceptable but there wasn’t anyone in the parking spot next to her. How is this difficult. Asian + Female + Driving = Bad idea…….i’m just saying……

Pushing forward it seems to me that our good friend common sense has gone into reclusion again. Not sure why the sudden absence of common sense but until common sense mends it’s bitterness against the human race we are forced to deal with stupid people on a daily basis.

In other news paramedics pronounced a burgler dead at the scene.  The burgler was shot in the head by police and lay on the floor for nearly 30 minutes before it was discovered that he was alive.  -_-  Now it may just be me, but if you can’t decide if a person is dead or not then maybe you shouldn’t be a paramedic……I’m just saying

six DUI convinctions wasn’t enough for a man to stop driving drunk, however the new tax on alcohol was enough for the man to drive drunk to a tax-free state to buy more alcohol….

Lastly, China’s concern over it’s 100 million teenagers and their internet addiction has taken a turn for the worse.  Not only has rehabilitation camps sprung up.  Now is it just me, or are people taking this too far.  A good solution to this problem is porn.  Yes porn, porn will get these teenagers out of the internet realm and at least to the bathroom where they can beat off in private, solving the problem of the internet addiction.  The only downfall is that free porn is only on the internet so if they do become a sex addict they will actually spend more time on the internet than before.

Ugly Betty lost it’s charm

Ugly Betty show has lost it’s charm. Seriously, has anyone else noticed that the entire story has gone absurd. It’s starting to tred on dangerous grounds heres and it’s fate is going to be similar to that of desperate housewives. Desperate Housewives started with a bang only to fall short of anything mildly entertaining as it progressed to it’s current state. The show has sadly become predictable, boring, and borderline annoying. Ugly Betty is currently in danger of doing the same. How are expecting us to believe that a girl who has had braces for the last few years (shouldn’t they be off by now?) is able to climb into the world of fashion without any impact to herself? She still frets around with her funny colored clothing, ridiculous hairstyle, and same self righteous attitude. Not too surprising they threw in a billionaire boyfriend in this current season that’s madly in love with this monkey. Come on, how realistic is that…yeah I know it’s a TV show and I should just watch for entertainment value but when a TV show goes so far against our social construct it’s almost frustrating to view and gain any sense of amusement. Ugly Betty’s world of fashion has become nothing more than world of make believe. I mean what do you take out of the show exactly? To believe in a false sense of hope that you may be that one person who outshines the rest or gets your opportunity while thousands if not millions who also believe in that false sense of hope missed out? It’s quite frankly become an annoying show to watch. I may have to remove it from DVR recording. The last episode just made no sense at all, to the point i actually had to fast fwd parts of it cause I was bored and watched to move on to the next show. Well, at least at the moment I have reruns of BurnNotice to keep me occupied (just got into this show)

Sorry Ugly Betty but at this point I must boo your monkey ass >_<

Burkini or the new teletubby?

Ok wtf is this? I mean, seriously guys, wtf is this?

Now, this is probably one of the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen =P hahaha, the video was cheesy, the outfit was horrendous, and honestly…that ain’t real life guys.  Good attempt, no actually it wasn’t.  Poor attempt to make a point that means nothing.  Memorable comments in the video were:

“I was looking for a Teletubbies video and found this.
This is just the red one.
Where are the others ?”

“Why is she a “beautiful” lifeguard? I thought her appearance wasn’t important?”

“WOW!!! good message!
I liked it!”

Then some silly discussion on israel/palestine came in and it got dull.

Well, let’s break it down.  The outfit is absurdly ridiculous, it is skin tight which defeats the whole “modest” thing. her helmet looks like she’s david the gnome, and the two desi douchebags in the video act like masturbating fobs.  Take responsibility for your actions and thoughts, don’t make others do it for you(i.e. wearing a hijab or wearing loose fitted clothing).  That’s why rape is acceptable in arab countries, responsiblity is on someone else, not ones own actions.  I’m just saying……

Brings to mind the topic of covering the head or not.  What’s funny is people who choose to wear a hijab (hey kudo’s if u want to, I just think it’s dumb) tend to have this argument “I want to be judged on my character not the way I look”.  The one thing they are arrogantly assuming is they have a good character or a likeable character when in many cases usually the opposite is true and in fact to put it more bluntly it usually sucks.  Usually people who wear this are more judgemental of others than the others are on them.  They soon start to congregate and criticize, segregate and finally openly (ok not openly usually it’s backbiting gossip) speak ill of others.  That’s character?  I’m just saying…….also to say you won’t  be judged on appearance is completely absurd statement.  Human nature, whether you like it or not will judge anyone on first appearance.  Whether it’s right or not is not the argument, fact of the matter is it’s done and regardless of whether you agree or not it’ll always be that way.  I’ve met one or two that are pretty cool, rest huddle in a silent circle looking like freaks.  I mean in this day feel free to wear it, but don’t assume just cause you are wearing it people don’t judge you on how you look and furthermore don’t assume that your monkey ass has a good character that someone wants to see.  We all equally suck as a baseline, then you choose whether you wanna suck more or less depending on personal behavior choices.

This has been brought to you by Douchebags, clean yourself right!

Is life that dull? Tecktonic Europe

god, the lives people live are so dull.  I’m serious, you sir/madam are as boring as a rock…in fact if you were even less boring it would be more entertaining to watch a seed grow to be a tomato plant and sprout tomatoes over the period of a few months than hear about your lame life.  Reading people’s status’ and updates…always seems like people are up to stuff, just not interesting stuff.  So redundant: Happy Hour, Clubs, I had dinner and then I went and met with my family, followed by drinks at so and so” or “had a wonderful weekend with friends and family”…”love conquers all”…..”im with my girl”…..”I’m masturbating to your mum”….”your dog just took a shit in my living room”…and the final twist to the story “You couldn’t get an erection for 8 months”…..god is this what we do?  I’m not saying my life is any more interesting, just seems that life should be something more than talking about clubs, hanging out with your rooti poo friends, or meeting for dinner to gossip.  Man where are the epic tales…where are my epic tales?

Must take this reality check to heart and remedy the situation immediately or at least urgently in a gradual fashion.  No more boring crap watching time go by as I get older by the second.  Going to plan random things throughout the year and make every effort to prioritize and accomplish the most bizarre and crazy things that come to my head…or at least something interesting.  Right, good plan!  Sorry for the interjection, I suck again..but wanted to bring to your attention that you suck just as much…if not more haha, back to regular blogging next entry

On a side note, whatever is going on in Europe (this may be old fad as it was posted a year ago) but I say yes to this!  Man it looks like good fun, I need an instructional video:

Come on people, seriously :( Freedom of douche and swine flu

So I got a comment in the last blog entry saying I should write a positive blog entry for a change.  Now I’m not sure what makes a positive blog entry but I will end each thought with a smiley face like this   The smiley face is known to make something less offensive because you don’t know if I’m joking or actually being serious.  Let’s try this shall we?

Phillygrrl wrote on the whole Perez Hilton vs Miss California incident.  Check out her blog entry on it right here

Now what we all failed to realize is this isn’t about freedom of speech nor is it about gay rights.  It’s a test to see if she had the ability to form a proper impromptu response to a question…..in which she failed miserably.  (Wth is an opposite marriage?  The opposite of marriage is being single?)
What’s worse is this gave Perez Hilton more publicity as a gay rights activist which is terrible thing because Perez Hilton is a stupid douche.   Shame on you people for encouraging him   I mean…he’s half retard you know that.  We should not exploit mentally handicap people.  Sitting on his computer, stuffing 12 oscar mayer weiner hot dogs down his through typing away at his computer stating “computer is my friend duuuuuuuuuuurrrr”  

I mean come on, seriously this is not the look of a gay rights activist, a gay man, or a man at all.  this is the look of the stupidiest motherfucker on the planet.   God, the only people who are worse than this douche are those who follow him and read his blog and stuff. 

Moving on the link to swine flu is found….oooooooo 

no it’s not cute btw, it’s fucking gross!!

Coming soon, investigation into the fast food franchises of fried chicken.  I went undercover in PG Country and sampled each of theses.  Yes, it was dangerous and almost deadly as I have never experienced such explosive diarrhea ever!  Next time….:)